Dissonance & Discordance: Day 14
I feel that much of my life is lived out as a struggle between an ideal self and an actual self. Every day, in every moment, I experience a certain amount of cognitive dissonance. There are days when I feel that the two selves are existing harmoniously, but it seems that for the most part my ideal self is stuck in an overstuffed armchair just watching as the actual self makes countless errors. Today feels like one of those days where my actual self is running rampant and my actual self is somewhere watching.
I know that the seeming difference between the two selves is more of an imagined narrative than it is an actual division of myself as a person, but it often feels so real that it is hard to imagine there not being two versions of me. Watching porn is an example of this, a demonstration of how the actual self will go ahead and put himself in a stupor over a phone or computer to get a momentary pleasure that my ideal self knows all too well will go just as soon as it comes.
I wonder how to bring these two versions of myself into harmony? A cacophony of discordant actions that can, I believe, turn itself into something beautiful.
Day 14.
